stfu · jensen.

i have no idea what i want anymore. i've been talking to daniel for a little while now and i do like him. i like to talk to him and stuff. he's really sweet and i can tell he'd be a good boyfriend. but i don't want a boyfriend. or i don't want him to be my boyfriend..i don't really know which it is to be honest. i can't say that if a guy came along and i was really feeling him that i wouldn't be in a relationship with him. so that's why i don't know if it's just him...or if i really don't want one. it's not chase either i can tell you that. i don't really want to even hang out with him. i'm not saying that to be mean..it's just that i'm not into him. and there's this guy named jordan (i think i've talked about him before actually), and i'm really into him actually. but it's weird with him. everything is confusing. i'm not sure where his life is going or if he's even good for me. he told me he likes me and is liking getting to know me, and i'm liking getting to know him too. but he's had a pretty crazy life. he's gotten into quite a bit of trouble and stuff. but he's realllyy interesting, and he likes me. and he's cute. and i have to say i'm liking him more than daniel right now at this point. and i don't know what to do about it because i don't want to hurt daniel. i can't just tell him that i don't want to talk to him anymore, because i'd feel really mean. and i do like him, i just like jordan more. i just don't know what to do. i know if i keep lying to him that this is all going to come back and bite me in the ass and i'll be alone and unhappy. but that's what i am now anyways. sometimes i just want to tell every guy that tries to talk to me that i'm not interested at all. sometimes i just don't want anything to do with guys. maybe i do just need to be by myself. but i'd feel like a complete bitch for leading daniel on the way i have...i just don't know how to turn around from where i'm at with him. i don't know how to erase everything i've said. i hate hurting people. i don't see how guys can do it so easily...

"Don’t put your faith in my heart, I will only let you down
Don’t let your love grow too deep, I don’t think I’ll be around."